Surprise!
by jojotier
Summary: Kakyoin and Jotaro have a show and tell on the beach.
1. Show and Tell

**_A/n:_** _Based in part off of sunsetfemke's (on tumblr) shark merman Jotaro! It's always good to have something a little more lighthearted, and in my opinion, things are just too fun to write when it's between these two._

 _I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Noriaki hummed a bit, even as the soles of his feet were already becoming sandy despite stepping onto the beach maybe one full minute ago. It was nearly amazing how quickly he was going to find himself with sand on his person for years after this, to the point where he would one day lay on his deathbed and particles of scratchy powdered earth would fall softly from the spaces within his wrinkles. This was his life now. Sand in every crevice for eternity. What a way to live.

Still, becoming one with the sand was worth it when he had a backpack full of various trinkets and candies and a mythical creature lounging on a rock just a meter from the shore.

Honestly, he didn't know how the hell he got this lucky- it wasn't every day that someone found out that mermaids were real, tangible things, and it sure as hell wasn't every day that someone found out it was mostly a secret from the rest of the world. Few people were trusted with the knowledge that someone like Jotaro even existed, and that was possibly the most exciting prospect of this, after he got over the initial fear of him possibly deciding that Noriaki would make a very appetizing main course.

"Jotaro! Good morning!" Noriaki called out, watching the dark head of hair lazily raise itself up. He watched as gills fluttered with an apparent huff, watched impassive, rather sleepy eyes watch him back for a moment, and then watched as the shark merman there lifted himself up on his black arms and then turned himself around.

Tail flicking in the water irritably, Noriaki only got an indistinct mumble in reply before Jotaro lowered himself back down on his rock to continue sunning himself. He must have eaten something especially filling, if this was what he was doing with his morning- either that, or he ate something that he really probably shouldn't have eaten. Both had happened before, since it was apparently instinctive for all sharks, whether with a human top half or not, to bite first and ask questions later. Apparently, it had been worse when Jotaro was a child, and he had far too many stories about biting into metal drums, plastic, the ankles of errant swimmers, the tails of his family and all sorts of assorted crap.

Still, that wasn't going to do right then. The both of them had made a previous arrangement here, and Noriaki was still very much awake, even if Jotaro didn't want to be. He took off the backpack (best to not risk losing it in the sea, especially since he was trying tempt Jotaro to the shore) before kicking off his sandals and tossing his shirt aside. He was already wearing swim trunks, so with that he unceremoniously waded into the water.

With how much sun there was, one would think that the water would be somewhat warm, but nope. Noriaki was in the process of having hell freeze over on every inch of his skin, and it didn't go away until he took a deep breath and dunked himself into the water to let himself get used to it. Even then, though, it took far too long to actually make it to Jotaro's little rock, where he pushed himself beside where the creature's mammoth form took up most of the space. What indicated more assholery- taking up so much space or invading someone's makeshift bed while they tried to sleep? Noriaki thought it was the former, obviously.

He poked Jotaro's back, directly wear a dark, star shaped birthmark was on the shoulder. "Oi. Jotaro. Jojo. The Little Mermaid, Tim Burton edition. Pearl of the Ocean. Swedish Fish. Star of the Sea…." Noriaki could go on with all the different horrific, increasingly mushy variations of nicknames for Jotaro, but before he could Jotaro gave a very human groan and then a very inhuman set of annoyed clicking from somewhere in his chest before he rolled over to face the intruder to his makeshift bed.

"It's too early." Jotaro complained gruffly, brows furrowing as he squinted up at Noriaki.

"No, it's not. Haven't you seen the sun?"

"Yea, and it's still too early. Come back when I'm not liable to chew you out." Jotaro snapped his jaws menacingly, the sharp teeth clicking together, but Noriaki had long ago stopped being frightened of the blatantly aggressive display.

"You said it yourself when we first met," Noriaki said airily, bending down a bit to bop Jotaro's nose with one fingertip and enjoying the disgruntled way his nose scrunched up. "I and every other human on earth tastes like 'utter shit'. The point was really driven home when you ate all my chocolates, wrapper and all, just to get the taste of my flesh out. It truly was the most poignant moment of any romance story that could ever be written." Jotaro huffed again, the ear fins on either side of his face fluttering just the slightest bit before Noriaki bent down and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Speaking of chocolates, though… you can't have any if you don't get up."

"..." Jotaro pushed himself up on his elbow, looking to Noriaki. "Caramel, normal ones, or that cherry shit?"

"Yes." Noriaki smiled brightly before Jotaro finally got himself up, then pushed himself off of his rock and into the water with a small splash. Then apparently not satisfied with the size of it, he surfaced again just to sweep his tailfin along the water and knock Noriaki off with a powerful jet stream of brine before darting to shore.

Noriaki floundered for a second before he surfaced, spitting stray water from his mouth as his bang stuck to his face. Asshole. Oh, but Noriaki would be sure to get him back soon. Before that, though, he swam back to the shore as well, standing once he got to the shallows and watching for a moment as Jotaro wiggled his way up the shore. It was always vaguely hilarious to watch, as without legs Jotaro had to dig his claws into the sand and shimmy his way to wherever Noriaki had himself situated on the bank. It was also pretty damn cute. Which was why Noriaki had made it a point to sit a little farther up the beach every time he visited, just to see Jotaro wiggle more.

He'd offer to help, but Jotaro liked doing things on his own, and even if he did help there was the little fact that due to biology flipping the middle finger at Noriaki in general, Jotaro quite literally weighed about a ton. It wasn't even an exaggeration- that was simply how big great whites were.

Once it got to where Jotaro had settled with his body mostly on shore and his tail clapping down against the water every once in awhile, apparently from boredom, Noriaki had his backpack open and was pulling out the little bag of chocolates and assorted other treats inside. No matter how stoic Jotaro tried to look, it was difficult to miss how that intense stare grew to be nearly starry eyed with that kind of excitement, and Noriaki knew from experience that whether or not there was plastic in the way didn't matter a lick to the merman- after all, it wasn't as if one could get chocolate in the ocean.

He made sure to unwrap the pieces of whatever brand this was before Jotaro unceremoniously plucked them from his hands and shoved them haphazardly into his mouth. It didn't take even half a second before it was all down, and when Jotaro opened his mouth to speak, there wasn't even a hint of brown staining the whites of the razors lining his jaws. "Thanks."

"There's more where that came from." Noriaki said before having to sadly shoot down the slightly eager look he was given, "No, no more chocolate- I just mean there's more in here that I've brought. A couple of trinkets from land."

Jotaro nodded, ducking his head down to try and see inside the bag before turning away. "Alright- then if we're really starting show and tell, I have some shit this time around. Hold on." And with that, Jotaro was once again wiggling himself down into the water, casting a very suspicious glance over at his little sunning rock. Noriaki frowned, eyebrows furrowing because he wouldn't put it past Jotaro to use him for sweets and run.

"Hey, you better not go back to sleep! I'm trying to spend time with you!"

"Good grief, I'm not, I'm not," Jotaro waved him off before diving into the water. Some air bubbles drifted to the surface and popped, and Jotaro didn't resurface again for a while. Probably doing something or other down below. Noriaki didn't know who might have found whatever Jotaro had stashed away, but he didn't really know much about the ocean in the first place. And sometimes, with some of the things that Jotaro told him, about things lurking in trenches and bioluminescent disasters of creation, Noriaki didn't think he actually wanted to know. He guessed there was a reason why he and others like him thought of going to the moon before going to the bottom of the sea.

Noriaki spent a couple minutes on shore, rooting through his bag for the things he'd brought. They were just small things that day- after spending a lot of time showing Jotaro the bigger things in the human world on his phone, he'd taken to buying and bringing little trinkets and souvenirs from the places he'd travelled with his parents in the past. Even then, though, he was starting to run out of things to bring, which was a shame. At the very least, Jotaro could be endlessly bought via food, so he would have to start bringing more and more of that.

He set aside the little toys and trinkets, feeling the ice cream mochis to make sure they hadn't melted yet just as a dark head of hair broke the surface, now clad in a torn school hat. Apparently Jotaro had always had that, and though Noriaki didn't know exactly how it got so tattered, he liked to imagine a tiny Jotaro chewing it up with wild abandon the same way a puppy does with a chew toy. Considering the fact that he was a literal anklebiter with a long history of biting things no one should bite, Noriaki was just going to accept this as fact until Jotaro tried to claim it was otherwise.

When Jotaro was wiggling himself back onto the shore, Noriaki noticed that whatever he'd brought seemed to be confined to a pretty big bag made of seaweed and miscellaneous fabric probably gotten from lost swimsuits or clothes dumped into the sea. Jotaro had tried to claim he found things from pirates once, but there was only so much bullshit Kakyoin could buy in life. Stupidly attractive shark mermen, a college admissions process that was slowly sucking the life out of him- sure, he could believe those. But a pirate ship like what Jotaro had tried to describe, with the massive wooden hull and black flag with the skull and crossbones? If Noriaki didn't know that Jotaro was aquatic based and had no access to television, he'd have said he was watching too many movies.

Finally Jotaro settled himself up to where Noriaki was settled (apparently not realizing that Noriaki had moved just the slightest bit up the bank, heh) and opened his little makeshift bag, casually pulling out… holy shit, where does Jotaro keep finding all these pearls?

It's not that Noriaki isn't thankful for them- because he is, he is exceedingly thankful for the treasure that Jotaro was slowly filling his little shoe box under the bed with, but if his parents or someone ever found them, how the hell was he going to explain where he found a dozen or so perfectly round and gleaming pearls on his own, and how the hell would he try to justify the fact that he hadn't sold them? He'd have to talk to Jotaro about that one day, but today was not that day.

Today's pearl was almost the size of a goddamn golf ball, giving off a warm golden tone in the light. Noriaki didn't even think that pearls this big actually even happened around Japan, but then again, it's not like he knew much about the ocean and it's secrets. Jotaro stared at him, face set in that stoic make that he always reverted to when he was trying to hide something, but there was no hiding the gleam of his eyes. Noriaki loved this enormous pearl, and even though it was going to be a pain in the ass to hide, he was definitely keeping it. He leaned over and pecked Jotaro, holding the pearl gingerly with one hand while he reached up and stroked one fluttering earfin with the other. "It's lovely, Jojo- one of these days, I have to find a way to pay you back for these."

Jotaro tried to look away, trying to hide his smile and flush under the brim of his hat even though his fins were still wiggling something fierce. "Don't. You don't have to pay me back, I mean. I got them for you, so don't do that."

"Thank you for clarifying," Noriaki teased, nodding sagely, "because if you hadn't specified that you got this for me, the only human boyfriend you have, I would have never guessed it."

Jotaro groaned, looking back to Noriaki with a little sour twist to his face. "You're still an awful person and you're lucky that I like kissing you."

"I'm wounded, Jojo. You have hurt me. I think I might just go fling myself from yonder cliffside into the unrelenting depths of the ocean for this betrayal. My love, it was good to know you while it lasted, but this is my final adieu- leaving behind a backpack full of melting candy and found dead in my ugliest swim trunks. It's how I want to be remembered for years to come."

"Shut up," Jotaro whined, bonking his head insistently against Noriaki's as he reached over for said backpack. "And if they're melting why exactly are we waiting to eat shit? Humans still don't make a damn lick of sense to me."

Noriaki snorted, and held the bag out of reach to dig through it himself without any prying eyes. Except Jotaro, damn him and his immense size, leaned over his back, pressing his front against Noriaki and rest his chin in red hair to watch anyway. Rude. Noriaki got out first the mochis, since they were most in danger of melting before the end of this, and then a little camel plush he'd gotten while in Egypt. While perhaps a little silly, it was relatively cheap, and it wasn't as if he or his parents had the time to really wait for anything like cartouche necklaces. He handed off one of the pastel ice cream balls to Jotaro and then set the toy in his lap. "People ride these things."

Jotaro bit down, perhaps too hard, into the ice cream treat, and Noriaki could feel him give a full body shudder before straightening up and picking up the fake camel. "... That sounds like bullshit. These are the dumbest looking things I've ever seen. It's… What's it called, exactly? It's pissing me off, whatever it is."

"Ah, right. You wouldn't exactly see them in the sea…" Noriaki smiled a bit, leaning over. "It's called a camel. They live in hot, dry places where almost no water falls, and they keep water in their humps so that they don't die of thirst, basically."

Noriaki waited a few moments while Jotaro examined the plush beast with careful fingers. Then, he muttered, "What do you mean, no water? That just doesn't make any damn sense. _Everything_ needs water. If you don't have water you just have….. Dirt. What the hell kind of place is that, where it has just dirt?" He had gobbled down the last of his mochi in his agitation, and was already reaching for another.

"In some places, the place I went to was like a beach without any kind of ocean in sight. Just sand as far as the eye could see, without a drop of water. Sandy places like that are what we term as 'deserts', while the specific place I was in is a country called Egypt over in the northern most tip of Africa." Jotaro still looked skeptical, but Noriaki could understand that, in a sense. Just as the bottom of the ocean was an alien concept for him, the idea of a place as seemingly fantastical as a wasteland with no water must have been too farfetched to be true for Jotaro. "I'll pull up some pictures from my trip."

Noriaki reached into his bag for his phone, stuffing his mochi into his mouth for safekeeping away from Jotaro's errant hands. Jotaro occupied himself by wiggling his body into a new position, wrapping his arms around the human's waist and resting his chin on his shoulder to have a look. Noriaki scrolled through his pictures until he found the ones he was looking for, and then turned it sideways so Jotaro could see better. He pointed towards the sands stretching out in either direction, serving as a strange backdrop for an image of himself on horseback, a scarf tied over his head. "See? That's the desert. And would you look at that, it's me, riding an entire camel."

Jotaro's brows furrowed as he carefully observed the picture, eyes narrowing. "It's bigger than I expected…" Noriaki wasn't really a person- at 178 cm he was taller than most his age. So compared to the behemoth he had to ride, there had been a sort of fear before he managed to get onto its back. "What's it eat?"

"Plants, mostly, which is good news for us, eh." Noriaki said, smiling a bit at the morbidity of the idea of carnivorous camels. And the ridiculousness of it- who would end up being frightened by a couple of ridiculous looking mammals with humps on their backs? It sounded like the plot of an especially cringe worthy creepypasta. "Not that a camel would ever come here, if it was hungry and carnivorous. I don't think you'd be the type of meat that they'd be used to consuming if that were the case."

"I'd eat it first." Jotaro mumbled, to which Noriaki reached a hand up and patted his cheek.

"I'm sure you would, sweetheart. Now let's get on with eating the rest of these mochis- and by that I mean _both_ of us don't you _dare_ stuff them all in your mouth at once _again_ , I'm still hungry as hell." Jotaro, who had indeed been about to do just that, dejectedly let the mochis roll away from him on the wrappers and Noriaki congratulated himself on preventing both brain freeze for his boyfriend and his own empty stomach.

Noriaki didn't know how long they ended up staying there, going over little alabaster pyramids and pictures of him standing in front of mummies and artifacts, but eventually the bag of tricks ran out, and he was all out of food to offer. Still, the day was warm in a way that didn't immediately make Noriaki want to peel his skin off and cool in a pit of liquid nitrogen, and even if they eventually had to shuffle down towards the shallows so that Jotaro didn't dry out too much they were still pleasantly wrapped around each other in the sands, full stomachs making a nap seem more and more like an option.

He was just carding his hand through Jotaro's wet hair, watching the merman get comfortable as he sunned himself, before he realized something. "You're a son of a bitch." He mumbled fondly, scritching behind Jotaro's ears. Said man's eyelids fluttered for a moment before he sat up a bit, turning his torso around to squint up at Noriaki.

"If I can't call my mother a bitch, you sure as hell can't." Noriaki snorted, then shook his head, gesturing up to the sand at the forgotten waterlogged bag of mismatched fabrics. Jotaro blinked for a moment, his brain catching up to the rest of reality, before he sat up fully. "Oh shit, I forgot I brought something today. Something more than the pearl."

Noriaki snorted, wiggling his fingers at Jotaro teasingly. "What, were you really so distracted by little old me? All I did was some storytelling, Jotaro. You really ought to pay more attention. Maybe the open sea air is starting to get to you. Why not come on land for a bit? I can let you live in my bathtub and we can tell my parents that I found you out in the shallows and just had to make sure that you were okay."

"Pfft, when pigs fly." Jotaro uttered, froze, and then looked away from Noriaki. "Uh. Bag. Better get it. There's something important in- that. Yea."

It took a moment to process what Jotaro had said and then Noriaki turned to where he was shimmying up onto the beach, reaching for the bag and pointedly not looking in the human's direction. "Wait a second- how the hell do you know what a pig is, Jotaro?" That would imply Jotaro having a knowledge of farm animals, and he'd been confused at the mere description of a horse…

"Heard- some sailors. A lot of sailors use the phrase, that's all." Jotaro said haltingly, then cleared his throat as if he'd been cool about this entire thing the whole time. "So the bag. This has something that I had to fight the old man at home for tooth and claw over, considering what it is. It's part of a larger set that's been in the family since the dawn of time, practically."

Jotaro slid down the beach and Noriaki decided to let the debacle go. For now, at the very least. Besides, it wasn't often that Jotaro told him much about his family- Noriaki had always assumed that it had something to do with how dissimilar they would probably be in dynamic than to a human one. Were sharks much different than human families? Were shark mermen any different? He wasn't entirely sure. But still, something like this was more than a little exciting, and Noriaki slid a little closer, pulling his feet from the water and tucking them up under himself.

Jotaro reached a hand into the bag, and then produced one lone tooth, seeming almost fossilized. It looked much, much sharper than any tooth in Jotaro's mouth, and Jotaro explained, "It's from my great grandfather, Jonathan. We still have his jaws at home. We couldn't really find the rest of his body, but the bottom half would be long gone by now, with it being cartilage and shit." Noriaki's breath caught in his throat.

The tooth was easily the size of Noriaki's forearm.

"This… must have come from a very big mouth." He mumbled, gingerly looking over the tooth. Jotaro held it out a little, silently offering Noriaki the chance to take a closer look. He took the chance, taking the tooth gingerly from the thick base. At its thickest part, Noriaki could lay his entire hand flat and none of his fingers would touch the sides of it. He couldn't wrap his mind around how enormous a merman Jotaro's grandfather must have been, with a tooth this big, and presumably with a wide enough mouth to fit more of them.

"That's an understatement." Jotaro said mildly, looking at the tooth in Noriaki's delicate hold. "If you stood in his jaws, you'd see. He could've swallowed you whole."

"That's… incredible." Noriaki mumbled, eyes shining at the strange concept. It was certainly frightening, of course- God knows Jotaro had taken a good bite out of him with his own set of jaws before, on accident. What the hell would it be like to see something so enormous that it could easily dwarf most small vehicles?

Jotaro watched him carefully, looking between him and the tooth he was gingerly turning over in his hands, half afraid he'd somehow screw it up and shatter it. Noriaki handed the large tooth back, and Jotaro gently placed it back in his fabric pouch, looking down at the thing for a moment. "... Sorry."

"For what?" Noriaki asked, eyebrows furrowing. He didn't see anything that Jotaro had done wrong here. Hell, he'd even say that this show and tell was even more successful than others, considering what he'd just learned.

"..." Jotaro was quiet for a moment, contemplative as he watched Noriaki's face. Then he just said, "For not bringing much else. I just had the pearl and Great Grandpa Jonathan's tooth today."

"To be honest, I'm running out of things to bring too." Noriaki confessed, a little smile playing at his lips. Oh, was that really what whis all was about? "I really had to look through my closet to even find where I'd shoved that shitty little camel. And it's not nearly as exciting looking at pictures and hearing about travels, I would guess."

"No." Jotaro said, paused, then continued. "I mean, 'no, you're wrong', not 'no it's not interesting'. I like hearing you talk…." His face went slightly pink, and Noriaki couldn't help the stupid smile that suddenly took up residence on his features. Fuck, he was going to be stuck that way one of these days, with how Jotaro was treating him. "About, the travels. And about. Things. In general. It can't be uninteresting to hear you talk- wait. That's too much."

"That's just enough." Noriaki said, leaning over and kissing Jotaro. The chaste little peck was returned just seconds later, and Jotaro immediately buried his face in Noriaki's shoulder. "I like hearing about the ocean from you, too. I love learning about places. Even if I'll never see them. And even if I think you're making up a few stories."

"I did _too_ see pirates. You're just a stubborn ass."

"Love you too, Jojo."

There was a pause. Then a mumbled, "Love you more." After that, Jotaro lifted his head up just enough to ask, "Now can we go to sleep? All this food and talk is making me tired as hell. It doesn't help that humans are so damn squishy."

Noriaki laughed at that, leaning his head against Jotaro's. "God, I thought you'd never ask. Naptime is way overdue."


	2. Hide and Seek

As Jotaro stared blankly at the passing reflections of himself darting past with every single car speeding down the road apparently looking to kill the first sucker to meander their way into the fucking street, he thought to himself that coming to the surface was a bad idea.

He knew that it was a bad idea the moment he dragged himself up the shore and waited to dry out enough to make tearing his tail in two only a mildly uncomfortable process instead of a mildly painful one, which meant having to wait out in the sun like a dumbass on a beach that- while isolated enough- any jackass could wander into and spot him. Hell, that was how a lot of the human friends he had, few and sparse though they were, had ended up meeting him- they wandered onto the beach and while trying to hide he got spooked enough to bite down on the nearest appendage. That just meant that drying himself off behind some rocks took longer, since the shade kept him wet for a little longer than he would have wanted.

Then there was the fact that he then had to figure out how the fuck legs worked again, making himself look like a goddamn idiot as he tried to get up on the two flesh stalks he hadn't bothered to turn his tail into in a couple full months at the very least, maybe longer than that. That meant far more coordination problems than he expected, and more than once, Jotaro had to deal with tripping and eating shit because coordinating two limbs instead of one was slightly more bullshit than expected. The sand in his mouth didn't help with the parched throat either…

No, now standing at an intersection with some old clothes the shitty old man had dug up for him after a visit with the beach and sea far behind him, Jotaro was tempted to turn tail and dive back into the water. Not because the surface itself was really all that terrifying- but because he almost felt like he couldn't even fucking breathe up here. How the hell did Mom do this shit? Deal with not feeling her gills?

Rubbing at his neck self consciously, he stepped along the side of the road and looked for a sidewalk to where the schools were. It wasn't as if this city was particularly big, especially since it was more of a tourist trap than anything else, but even then, there were at least a couple of schools, and Jotaro didn't bother going into town the few times he did end up coming to the surface, so his memories of the area were at least a year old by this point. What could possibly be built in a year? Probably fuck all, especially since google maps apparently said that there was still only three schools in this little place.

Three schools, three separate goddamn high schools that Kakyoin could be at right at this time. If he didn't have a cram session or any clubs, he might have even been anywhere in this little town, and that meant that Jotaro only had a couple hours to find him or find the nearest water source to get himself hydrated before he went and continued again.

As Jotaro crossed the street and passed by some high school students in uniforms a little like the ratty thing he wore, he realized that he really, really should have thought this all through.

But it was supposed to be a surprise. If he went and asked too many questions, Kakyoin would ask questions himself. That was one of the things that Jotaro appreciated about him. He wasn't a fucking idiot. Even if that meant Jotaro nearly having to explain the confusing biological bullshit that was apparently his physical form because he accidentally let slip some slang or knowledge that he'd somehow still retained from the surface.

High school one had black uniforms like Jotaro's, and he distinctly remembered Nori telling him that he wore green, so this one was probably out. Which really, wasn't too many scales off Jotaro's skin- the girls to the left of him had been looking at him weirdly for a bit now, and he knew for a fact that he didn't have fins on display. Or really, anything that would give that shit away- he wasn't a completely reckless and dense imbecile. He knew when to hide fins and when to let the scales on his legs rub up against the wool of these pants. Wait. Shit. His fins- were they visible? He reached up quick and felt his human ears, then turned the action into adjusting his hat. So not that. What the hell did they want?

He wasn't really given much chance to answer that, because out of the corner of his eye he spotted a head of red hair. He turned his head, spotting a green uniform coat and familiar earrings, and of course Kakyoin would wear the uniform coat of an entirely different school while going to a completely different one. As much as Jotaro cared for Kakyoin (and even said that "L" word to him and himself and meant it, which in and of itself was slightly terrifying), Kakyoin was also kind of a weirdo in the first place.

There was a reason why Jotaro immediately ate any cherry things Kakyoin tried to bring. Better they be stuffed in his aching stomach than to be molested by his boyfriend's weird lizard tongue. Jotaro didn't even like cherries.

Still, all that aside, just as it looked like luck was on Jotaro's side for once and that maybe he could spend more than an hour with the love of his life, he was suddenly surrounded on all sides by that group of girls. He only just barely kept himself from baring his teeth- not only did he need to make sure that he wasn't looking suspicious, but baring teeth wasn't something that humans did in the first place. Biting someone while under the guise of a human- that sounded like a surefire way to make someone suspicious and force him into a tight, potentially far drier, place.

"So~" The high pitched drawl of the first, some girl with a weird headband with some kind of ears on it (fox, it kind of looked like), was already grating on his damn nerves and she'd only uttered one single sing song syllable. Jotaro glanced away from the gaggle of women to see that Kakyoin had disappeared into the crowd going into the school. God dammit. "I don't think we've seen you around here before! Did you just transfer in?"

"Oh man, if you did, why haven't we seen you before?! A face as handsome as yours is pretty hard to miss…" A second girl, with hair dyed an obnoxious shade of neon pink (because there was no way in hell that Jotaro was believing that any human could have hair like that), batted her eyelashes up at him and suddenly he was put in a really weird, shitty situation. It wasn't like Jotaro had ever actually gone to school in the first place- the perks of needing to stay by the ocean or near some kind of body of water for pretty much all of his childhood, he guessed. He had no fucking clue if it was normal to get this close to what people assume is a transfer student.

But he probably couldn't just push them off or tell them to get lost immediately- the last thing he needed was for these flighty broads to start trouble with him or whining to other people who would make things more difficult before he ever even got to Kakyoin. So he just shrugged and said, "Yeah, I guess you could say that. I'm actually looking for someone-"

"Well," A third giggled, stepping closer and reaching a hand out to brush his arm. He bristled slightly, grinding his teeth in his mouth to keep from snapping his jaws. This wasn't the ocean- shit wasn't as easy as "big thing/unknown thing = danger = bite". Society had way too many nuances and expectations to keep up with sometimes. Jotaro vehemently wished he'd found some other way to surprise Kakyoin and just spent the last half hour back hunting cuttlefish like he was originally planning on doing. Oh, shit, he was too busy thinking about shit he'd rather been doing that he completely missed whatever this human girl was saying, and now she was just looking up at him gooey eyed with her hand on his arm.

"..." He only considered what to do for a second, trying to figure out if he should be rude or if he should just go with it, he just said, "I really have to find someone specific-"

"Well, you have three specific someones ri~ight here!" The first girl said, a little smile lighting up her face as she found a place trying to cling to Jotaro's other arm.

"Maybe a couple more!" The second said, clapping a bit. "Yoshiko and the others would absolutely _love_ to have a look at our newest student! And besides, some of us might even be in the same class! Wouldn't that all be extra fun, spending time with the lot of us? We'd be the luckiest gals on campus!" Okay, wow, this was getting worse and worse, and Jotaro violently jerked his arms away, stepping backwards.

"Kakyoin Noriaki. I'm looking for Kakyoin Noriaki, so if you could just point me-"

"Oh, Kakyoin-kun?" The second said, clapping her hands as if in recognition. "Of course we know where Kakyoin-kun is! Don't we girls?"

"Isn't he that creepy guy who sits in the back of the class next to that other weirdo?" The third whispered to the first girl.

The first made a bit of a face. "Yeah, he is… They do some kind of art thing together I think? They act so arrogant, it's-" The second elbowed the two girls at her sides, and the first immediately lit up, as if Jotaro didn't just hear that whispered conversation. "Oh, yes! Kakyoin-kun is one of our very best friends, you know, along with Rohan-kun! We could take you down to where they are…."

"... If you come with us for a tour! It'll be two birds, one stone!" The third said in such a disgustingly chipper way that as Jotaro backed up another step they seemed to get a little worse.

"I think I can-"

"What's your name then?" The second girl completely bowled over what he was about to say, and Jotaro put up his hands, the back of his head itching. _Gotta fight._ But this wasn't exactly a dangerous situation, so Jotaro told his shitty instincts to go fuck themselves right then and just told them his name. "Jotaro-kun~ we'd be honored to show you around! Though of course, you'd be in our debt…"

"No." Jotaro said, shaking his head. "That's fine- I'll find them on my own. It's not like Kakyoin is a hard guy to miss-" mostly because Jotaro sometimes couldn't take his eyes off the guy, but the point still stood.

Still, they kept going. It was pissing him off, now that the initial shock of actually having to interact with society was wearing off and Jotaro's patience was wearing thin. The still insistent fight or flight senses causing the hairs on the back of his neck and his teeth to grind more weren't helping shit. "Nonsense! Sometimes, Kakyoin-kun is so quiet we don't even see him. It'll be more fun with all of us there, promise, and besides, we can all just have a good time if it ends up that we don't find him. Wouldn't that just-"

"Will you bitches shut the fuck up?!" Jotaro snapped, only feeling slightly bad about the slight shocked expression on their faces when he barked it out. They just weren't leaving him the hell alone, so maybe the only thing to do here was to make them have a reason to leave him the fuck alone.

Then the girls squealed, a red flush coming over their faces, and suddenly the situation felt a shit ton more dangerous. That wasn't the right reaction to being yelled at, what the fuck. "Ahh, Jojo~ So assertive and cruel!" The second one said, her hands flying to her cheeks. "There's no need to be so mean to us! It doesn't suit a handsome guy like yourself~"

"Yeah, Jojo, just come with us!" The other two were pleading with him, and after that, Jotaro did the sensible thing, something that his grandfather would be proud to see him take a page out of that shitty old book of his for.

Jotaro chose 'flight' and turned on his heel, running the fuck away.

Despite the fact that he was double the size of the main girl leading the pack, these little bitches were _fast_. Faster than they had any right to be. That, and Jotaro hadn't run with actual legs in such a long time that he constantly felt as if he was one tilt away from stumbling straight onto the ground, which wasn't going to help the situation anymore than any of his previous actions had. Jotaro hoped to god that Kakyoin appreciated this entire surprise, because after this, he was never leaving the ocean again. If the old man and Mom wanted to celebrate Christmas or some shit they'd just have to haul the tree and presents down to the beach where he could isolate himself from all this bullshit. Kakyoin would just have to drag his ass out to a boat on the sea to live for the rest of their lives, because if Jotaro was learning anything, it was that _human women were fucking mental._

He stumbled over the threshold of the school doors and nearly tumbled ass first into the front hall, but he kept on going, not even looking back as the girls were crooning sickly sweet shit at him like "Jojo~", "Come on! We haven't even introduced ourselves!" as if Jotaro would slow down even one second. Usually, Jotaro could last for hours during a chase like this, especially when it came to outrunning killer whales and shit, but on land when he was already sort of drying out faster and faster? He was starting to slow down, dammit.

He ducked around a corner and spotted an open doorway, squeezing himself through and fumbling his form enough to make some noise. It was an empty classroom, it looked like, and Jotaro stood stock still against the wall, just listening to the footsteps passing by. "C'mon, I think he went this way, towards the gym!" "Ohh maybe we'll see him in gym clothes soon, just to try them on~" "Hurry it up!"

Holy shit, these girls were fucking terrifying. Thank God that apparently Jotaro had gotten the slip. He took a deep breath, rubbing at his throat again because it felt strangely constricting not to have his gill slits, and now his throat felt like someone had rubbed sediment all down it. Disgusting. He needed to find a drinking fountain, or a bathroom. Something with some water that he could use to quench his thirst before trying to find Nori in this weird hellhole of a place. He stepped gingerly out of the empty room, looking to the hallway. First right, down the way the girls ran, then to the safe, equally empty left. Thank God, they were gone.

Letting out a breath, he started down the left, hoping that maybe he would just chance upon the art room. It seemed to be the safest bet for an art club, unless more weird shit was going to go and push his fucking patience. Which, Jotaro thought with a sinking feeling in his gut, was probably pretty fucking likely.

Unfortunately, due to never having been to this damn school, it meant that Jotaro had to look in every room until he found either someone who could direct him to the art room or until he found the art room himself. And Jotaro was fucking awful with spoken directions. This was already shaping up to be a fun time, and he'd already looked into at least three more empty classrooms. With a sigh, he peeked into one at the end of the hall and found the place fucking lousy with weights and other equipment, but with no body builders or anyone using them in sight. Instead, there were a couple of students just kind of lounging at the table in the center, playing games. Well hell, may as well try to ask and figure things out.

The girl at the far end of the table looked up lazily, black hair falling into her eyes despite the headband she wore. "What d'ya want?"

"I'm looking for someone. Do you know where the art room is?"

"Down the stairs, last door on the left near the other flight of stairs."

"Thanks."

He half expected that to go at least twenty different ways wrong, but thankfully, it looked like he struck out this time. Now all he needed was some water, Kakyoin, and maybe for the distant sounds of high pitched squealing to-

Oh no.

His head whipped back down the hallway to where the distant voices of those girls were, and the universe was just fucking with him now. It had to be. Because when he looked back at the bitch in the room with all the weights, her phone was out to take the shot at Jotaro that was inevitably sealing his fate. Oh god dammit, now getting to Kakyoin would be even _worse_. Jotaro was never doing this shit again. No matter what Kakyoin's reaction might end up being. Still, there was a chance that he could get to the art room before he was accosted by these girls. He started rushing down the stairs, trying to outrun them and hope to god that they weren't smart enough to go around the other way.

That was the moment when Jotaro immediately tripped over his own clumsy goddamn stupid lousy human feet and fell the rest of the way down the stairs in only the way that some especially unlucky cartoon character is wont to do, complete with the accompanying thuds of his own big body hitting against the railing, the stair, the wall, and anything in his way. Just as he was getting up, rubbing his head, he heard the bone chilling shriek of triumph down the end of the hallway. "Found him!"

A couple heads poked out of doorways as the girls made their way down the hallway towards him, and shit. Now Jotaro really had nowhere to run. He could loop back around, but he was already dehydrated, and all this extra effort with using legs was taking its toll on him already. Of all the heads, only one stepped from their room, at the end of the hallway on the left. Her hair was brown, swept to the side, and unlike the ravenous lampreys on his tail, she looked pretty damn unimpressed with the whole situation. She stepped forward, blocking the girls off before they could even think about descending, hands on her hips.

"Hey, knock it off Kanna." She said, and Jotaro could just hear the frown in her voice. "Don't you all have better things to do than to go picking on the new guy?! Or, I'm sorry, chasing after him to have him accept your affections. You lot really don't have any idea how much worse the latter thing sounds, do you."

The main girl, Kanna apparently, sputtered a bit, arms crossing over her chest. "Oh, get out the way Aoi! It's not fair that you're such a downer about these things. Besides, what are you, Jotaro's wife?"

"No." Aoi said, posture straightening and shoulders squaring. "And neither are any of you. So get your heads out of your collective asses and go already. Kakyoin-kun and I are trying to get a piece done and hearing your screeching is killing brain cells which we kind of need at the moment. Don't you all have cram school or something so you can actually do something with your lives?"

There was a stony silence, and Jotaro was very uncomfortably reminded of every single time he'd seen a territorial dispute. It looked like this bottom hallway was Aoi's territory, which apparently boded well for Jotaro, because being in that gaggle's territory was liable to shave his scales. The rabid ones had the advantage of numbers, but Aoi had the advantage of this being her territory and her own apparent strong will. There were a few more moments, and then Jotaro saw the main girl of the trio fold in on herself, hunching submissively since it was obvious who'd won.

"C'mon girls," Kanna said, turning on her heel. "We'll see Jojo soon, I'm sure!" With that, the three ascended the stairs again, and Aoi turned back around, nodding to Jotaro.

"Alright, it's safe for you to come do whatever you were doing- and don't look so much like a frightened animal!" She smiled, putting her hands up placatingly. Jotaro hadn't moved from his spot on the ground, tense, for the last five minutes straight. He was starting to actually get slightly lightheaded from the lack of oxygen and then, whoops, looks like he forgot he didn't have gills to take in what he needed. He still got up, dusting off the pants of his uniform. "So, your name is Jotaro, right? Mine is Aoi. If you need a place to hide, the art club room is open, right here."

She gestured to the room and then turned, glancing over her shoulder before going back, speaking so loudly that Jotaro could even hear it from the end of the hall. "Hey Nori! We got a straggler! He's what fell down the stairs like a chump!"

Well thank God all that shit was over. Now he could get to what really mattered. And, not to mention, there was a drinking fountain, and he was able to hunch over that and soothe his throat, at least partially.

With everything behind him, he walked into the art room.

It was a little space, with pottery and all sorts of strange sculptures made of anything from sand to glass to video game cartilages (who had the money for that?) lined one wall. One table in the corner was absolutely lousy with sketches, with some asshole with the stupidest and possibly ugliest headband Jotaro had ever seen was drawing, not even looking up to acknowledge that someone new was in the room. There were a couple others milling around the room, but none of them really paid him much mind after an initial glance. And then there was Noriaki, sitting at one easel in a ring of them, Aoi looking over his shoulder. Noriaki looked up, face illuminated by the dusty light shining through the lone little window in a way that kind of left Jotaro wondering if he was thinking about anything important just then because whatever it was, he forgot it.

Kakyoin's mouth opened a bit, the paintbrush slipping from his fingers before he could stop it, and he stood up quickly, looking up and down Jotaro's form. Gaping like a fish. This was the first time Kakyoin was seeing Jotaro as a human, and it made Jotaro slightly nervous, with the intense look gaze and clear confusion. Then, Jotaro pulled the rim of his hat down and said, "Hey."

"Jotaro?! How the hell did you get here?!" Noriaki was definitely surprised by this, and suddenly all that shit with being chased around by those maniacs earlier seemed completely worth it just to see this. Kakyoin covered his mouth for a moment, but there was no hiding the wide smile that broke out.

"Walked." Was all Jotaro said, and he proved it by stepping across the room. With his two legs. And this time, he didn't even feel like he was going to trip.

"No, I just- well, this is certainly a pleasant surprise, Jojo." Kakyoin said, seeming to collect himself. He looked down at whatever painting he had been working on, and then back up at Jotaro. "Ah, Aoi? I think I'll be leaving early today." Aoi's eyebrows raised high, and she looked between the both of them before snorting.

"Alright then, get the hell out! I doubt you'll be much use right now if I were to try and force you to stay. If I could." Aoi laughed a bit at that.

"You couldn't stop me if you had all the mastery over time on Earth." Kakyoin said before starting to get his apron off and was out the door dragging Jotaro by the arm in an instant. Jotaro heard the tail end of some snarky comment from Headband in the corner and then Aoi's hysteric laughter as they ended up in the hallway, starting to quickly move towards what Jotaro ended up finding out was an empty room. Once they were inside, Noriaki turned, closed the door, and then leaned against it, staring at Jotaro for a while. Specifically at his legs. "... Alright. Explain."

"How I fell down the stairs? It's because being bipedal is shit and I'm still not used to it because I haven't be upright in months."

" _The legs, Jotaro!_ How do you have legs?! I thought- I thought you were confined to the ocean! Or what- are, are you going to tell me that magic is real and that you have to find some magic artifact or a sea witch will turn you into sea foam, or something ridiculous."

"I've always been able to turn my tail into legs. It's something _all_ shark merpeople can do, at the very least. Why do you think I live alone? My mom and the shitty old man are up on the cliffside, pretending to be human."

There was a pause, and Kakyoin just stared in amazement at Jotaro. Everything that was written on Kakyoin's face made it seem as if Jotaro was the most amazing goddamn thing on the earth, and fuck, it pissed Jotaro off when he was looked at like that because it made him feel things fluttering around in his stomach. It made him want to punch Kakyoin. Softly. With his mouth. And all that sappy shit that Jotaro wanted to do with Kakyoin made him far too goddamn embarrassed because holy shit, how fucking scandalous was that? Feeling in love. Fucking ridiculous.

"Jotaro, why- why didn't you tell me sooner? We could have been done things on the surface together." Kakyoin said, and Jotaro rubbed at his neck where his gills should have been. "There are a lot of places I wanted to show you, but I thought I _couldn't_ because I just kind of thought you were going to stay in the ocean. You _acted_ like you've never seen the land before!"

Jotaro had to collect his thoughts for a moment, because when Kakyoin put it like that, keeping all this shit from him was kind of stupid. "... To be fair, I like hearing you talk for show and tell. I know what shit is, but hearing your voice is. You know." He absentmindedly waved a hand, as if that would better get his point across. It was times like this when Jotaro hated that he couldn't just talk like a regular fucking person and articulate what he meant. "It's you."

Kakyoin smiled a bit at that, snorting. "God, such a way with words. Maybe it's better you stayed in the ocean- half the time, I don't even know if I understand what the hell you mean." It was just teasing. Just some light banter. Jotaro could work with that. "This time, though… I get it. And you're still a sweetheart, no matter how much you snap your jaws. I'm still a little angry that you kept this from me, though- legs? _Really_? Probably one of the most important ways to actually get to see each other and you just kind of forgot to say something, or keep it a secret that you know about the land?"

"To be fair- I can't actually stay on land that long." Jotaro admitted after a beat. "I'm not used to it. It's a trade off- I live in the ocean and don't have to worry about shit like college or the economy or the government. If I want to come on land, I dehydrate in a few hours. There's probably some scientific law for that, but honestly, I could give less of a damn about studying when I can just survive out there."

"Yes, I guess that's one of the perks of pretending to ignore civilization- you don't have to worry about taxes." Kakyoin chuckled a bit, shoulders lowering. Then, he tensed, looking to Jotaro with a slightly panicked expression. "Wait. How long have you been out of the water now?"

"Uh." Jotaro very eloquently said, trying to gauge how long that entire chase went. "An hour. Maybe an hour and a half." Depends how long those girls were chasing me."

"How long _what_ -" Kakyoin just shook his head, looking up at Jotaro. "You know what, you can explain later. We need to get you some water, or something." Jotaro hadn't even noticed how thirsty he had gotten, so god damn, it was a good thing that Kakyoin had the sense to ask. He followed Kakyoin out of the room they'd been talking in and Kakyoin left Jotaro to the drinking fountain while he went to grab something. As it turned out, that something was a couple of water bottles, still fairly cold, and soon Jotaro was being led outside the little hellhole that he was going to be sure never to visit again without at least some kind of protective armor.

"Rohan will probably throw a fit over these," Kakyoin mused quietly as he led Jotaro through the grounds. Jotaro was a little too busy drinking to verbally agree, but he nodded anyway. Now that he'd found Kakyoin, that basically meant he had no fucking clue what to do next. He kind of didn't even think he'd make it this far. "But honestly, Rohan will throw a fit over anything. He'll just have to deal with it."

Things were a lot quieter out there than inside. Jotaro cautiously looked around, but there were no sign of those girls, which helped. He still didn't know how the hell he could even deal with them- he was too out of his element. Kakyoin snorted softly beside Jotaro as he slowed to a stop, bringing a hand up to his mouth. Then Kakyoin had the audacity to look Jotaro dead in the eye and tell him, "I suppose that you must be a fish out of water when it comes to these sorts of things, eh, Jojo?" Jojo dumped the remaining water in the bottle on Kakyoin's head, but from the startled laugh, he was guessing that the little asshole still thought it was the fucking funniest thing.

Then, he felt a warm hand curl around his own. Kakyoin was still warm, even here, and when he leaned up to kiss Jotaro's cheek it left a tingle in the spot that mingled with Jotaro's own growing blush. He tried to stomp it down, but with Nori, that was becoming less and less easy. Then Noriaki whispered in his ear, "You're still the densest person I've ever met."

To shut him up before he could go anymore about this entire thing, Jotaro leaned down and kissed him himself. It still was something that made his head reel sometimes, that he could do that whenever he damn well pleased, but it made his heart do awful things in his chest that made him feel like it was going to swell up so big that it would one day explode because he just wouldn't be able to hold in the rising swell of emotion. God, if only Jotaro could tell Nori just what he did to him.

He pulled away, and saying "I love you" came so easily that it was almost dizzying. God dammit- he'd always known, deep down, that he was somewhat of a romantic, but this was getting absolutely ridiculous.

Noriaki just laughed a bit, cheeks flushing to match Jotaro's. "I love you too."


End file.
